i love how halloween becomes an excuse for adults to act like children.

you know they have it in them year round…all they’re lacking is the confidence (read: mask over their face) to let it all out and either look or act like they had trouble with third grade.

case(s) in point, from this weekend:

at easy bar, where myself and two friends ducked in for a low-key scene sans costumes, a party in the back slowly ramped up the intensity of the place beginning around 9pm.

far be it from me to complain, but ‘costume’ in female-chicagoan-speak actually means ‘skimpiest outfit i can find’.

let me be clear: no complaints here.

but you just know they’d do it all the time if they had the cahones.

i mean, minnie mouse’s skirt barely covered anything and i was definitely served drinks by a rotting corpse i’d date exclusively.

then, in the same venue, we had a father and son combo dressed up at barack obama and bill clinton. the son’s girlfriend was hillary clinton…she didn’t even need to change her hairdo.

you heard me right…father, aged at least 55 years old and dressed up like BILL CLINTON was dancing around a bar full of minnie mouses and marilyn monroes.

i saw grinding taking place.

at one point hillary was between the two presidents, which was precisely when i cursed myself for not having a camera.

a bit later i shot up to cody’s, a favorite neighborhood place in lakeview, with holly to meet up with will and franco.

we found a lot of the same. women skandily clad, guys dressed like cats.

one girl there was dressed as little debbie…and had a picnic basket full of shack cakes and nutty bars.


after i asked her for nutty bars; holly was demanding a nutty bar, damnit; little debbie began to take obvious interest in a boy dressed up as shaun of the dead.

he looked kind of like an office worker but his shirt was covered in blood; having not seen the movie i’d hard to judge exactly what he was aiming at.

anyway, we watched these two court from across the bar, because it was obvious they’d been overserved.

then, after she’d tried and missed once…she landed the most awkward, gross looking kiss on this kid that i’ve seen in a while.

his response was to lead her by the hand away from his group of friends in the middle of the bar’s mayhem to a corner by the bathrooms.

and this is where they launch one of the more graphic displays of public affection i’ve seen in a long while.

it was unfortunate, too.

holly wanted a little debbie snack cake!

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