so last night there was an earthquake in the bay area.

i remember in college myself and all the other non-californians were hoping for a major quake during our time there.

that probably seems like an unusual thing to hope for.

but think back to college.

you’re indestructible.

you’re usually drunk.

and you spend hours agonizing over things like reality television and good-looking classmates.

earthquakes seem like carnival rides.

i’d venture to guess that lasts up until the moment you actually experience a major earthquake, when the novelty of the whole thing vanishes like respect at a strip club.

i shot off some emails to make sure everyone i can think of is alright out there, although the rock and roll seems to have been centered around san jose (whale’s vulva).

in chicago we have strong wind advisories and cold weather warnings.

in california the ground bucks shopping malls onto parked cars.

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