m, j, and p-

listen, it’s been really tough for me to figure out how to send my thoughts to you and your family. i know my sisters feel the same way. it’s probably the first time i’ve felt so far away from our family while something so emotional and painful has happened. everything feels so empty and trite when i say it from here, a thousand miles away, while you handle the undoubtedly monstrous task of making sense of the ways things have played out.

i’ll say all the things you’ll hear and have heard over and over:

i’m so sorry you’re going through this.
i wish i could be there with you, and your mother, and your father, most of all.
i wish i could tell him what a fire he was in every moment i saw him in, and how much his charisma always inspired me. i wish i could cheer him on to beat this, to pull through, and to amaze us yet again with his bravado, his playful ego, and his snarky humor.

you’re such wonderful people, and you don’t deserve this tragedy.

but i say all that because i truly…deep in my heart…mean it. i can’t imagine how hard this must be for you.

my sincerest love and concern,

my uncle is in his sixties, and will be taken off his ventilator at noon today. he will last a few hours. he found out he had leukemia four weeks ago.

he was a scratch golfer, a wildly successful dentist in the hamptons, and all around an incredibly endearing guy. he is my mother’s brother, and the second she’s lost early. i hurt for her, and for the loss of one of my favorite uncles.

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