tonight i’m going to see juliette and the licks.

at reggie’s live.

yeah, juliette lewis from natural born killers.

hot.

now, as you know it’s been a rough week.

my uncle died yesterday, as expected, after a few minutes off of life support. i was ten minutes from home (parent’s home, to be exact), when we got the news, and i couldn’t help feeling an urgency to get home. to walk through our back door to give my mom a hug and to put someone in the room with her, so she wasn’t crying alone.

i’d really wanted to make it there before that phone call from new york.

our evening was riddled with ups and downs, as expected. we cycled through some tears, some shaky-voiced recollections of my charismatic uncle and his antics, and some genuine laughing as mom pulled her emotions in and let them go…almost testing them out gradually, rather than letting the weight of losing her beloved brother crush her all at once.

my father arrived a short time later, and found my mom and i in the kitchen, reminiscing on her brother as a teenager. as mom described him, peter, i saw her step back into her childhood, talking about her parents as if they were standing in the room, her neighbors as if we were standing in the brownstone in queens that she was raised in.

and talking of peter like he might jump out from around the corner with some snarky quip about politics or one of his sisters.

i think it felt good for her to remember him. to walk around her love for him and to share it with me, with anyone. the pain of losing him had to wait outside the screen door for most of the evening, only getting it’s place at the podium in short bursts of desperate grief. bursts that shook my heart and my soul.

my uncle was an amazing man, taken from us too quickly and far too soon. i’d do anything to give my mom her brother back, and since that won’t happen, i’m happy to walk with her through her memories, to hold the hand of a little girl showing off her impressive big brother on the backdrop of a time long since past.

but as my sister spends a bit of time with my parents tonight, i’ll let ms. lewis and some rock and rollers blanket me in loud music for a few hours. i think it’ll be a nice escape.

i just wish someone would join me.

am i the only person out there who’ll check out a band on a whim?

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