i’ve dated two women since college began.

well…two and half (i’ll open that can o’ worms soon).

lately i’ve been exploring some of the memories of my most recent relationship with kate, and i haven’t really explained why that is. at this point we’ve only gotten to that relationship’s first kiss.

as some point soon, i’ll move that along.

for the moment, though, we’re talking about alexis.

during college i got deeply involved with alexis, and it started right out of the gates during our freshman year.

i lived in the biggest freshman dorm on campus at stanford; a two floor, two-winged complex that uniquely placed freshman in two-room, three-person pairings.

by some nearly impossible stroke of luck (as stanford randomly pairs every freshman by design) i walked in and met my roommates only to find out one of them, taylor, was not only a soccer player, but going to be a walk-on for the team. he’d even grown up with leemo (national team co-hort and fellow stanford teammate) and was basically the nicest kid in the world.

tayfunk and i became instant friends.

tayfunk and alexis went to senior prom together.

alexis was housed right below us on the first floor.

i immediately wanted to know why tayfunk wasn’t after alexis; she was drop dead gorgeous, fun, athletic, and just seemed ideal for the kid (as he was all of those things too).

he brushed those inquiries off with the same fervor that i brush off those inquiries into chalise and i. they were childhood friends. that was it.

which naturally resulted, eventually, in my own pursuit.

lex was (and is) spunky, artsy, outgoing, and sharp.

she was (and is) exotically beautiful, an olympic-caliber swimmer, intensely driven and motivated.

and eventually she saw something in me (god knows) and we inched our way into a long, intense relationship.

over the years that relationship explored every corner of emotional, intellectual, and physical connection that two young adults are capable of, both good and bad.

in some ways it was tender and supportive.
in some ways it was an all out fist-fight.

at times it was honest, trusting, and reliable.
and at times it was dishonest, manipulative, and confrontational.

it was far more great than not.

it made us both better versions of ourselves, without a shred of doubt. and for an unsuccessful relationship i think that’s, in a lot of ways, the most you could ever hope for.

(okay, there’s also the fact that she modeled for a while after college, which is a great notch in the belt. most guys hope to date models, but it’s nice knowing you saw it early, too.)

having kept in touch since graduation largely via email, this blog, and chats online, i find that we’ve fortunately maintained some of the stuff that fueled our connection: we share ideas, jokes, and broad-stroke thoughts on everything from relationships to our experience of this stage in our lives.

which is why, as i mentioned a short bit ago, i felt comfortable asking her for a little interview.

and man, did she come though.

so later today, roughly after lunch, i’ll post the first part of alexis’ reflection on yours truly and our relationship!

because i’m sure you’re quite sick of only getting my side of the story.

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