That was the thing; even when we were teenagers she was different. She was edgy and confident and averse to anything but her will. She is probably the reason I have ever felt the confidence to just trust my gut in the face of the most insane things it suggested. Over and over and over again I’ve heard people say things like “everyone wishes they were Chalise” when what they meant was “everyone wishes they had an intimate relationship with ignoring their inhibition and plunging into life to see what actually happens”.
I consider the five days and four nights I spent at South By Southwest Interactive to be the most rewarding and engaging five days I’ve spent anywhere in a long time. Sure, it’s not the same as my annual trip to Upstate New York, (where I get quality time with some thirty cousins and basically get off the grid for a week) because that’s a different kind of payoff.
Out in the real-world, you’re twenty-three and time is turning on itself and your threshold for uncertainty finds its high point. You wonder about tomorrow, and five…ten years…you’re as likely to be living on another planet as you are to be gainfully employed, for all you know.
Jokes aside, things are just not as they were, and as lives tend to do, I’m in one of the less boring, more unpredictable, definitely more strenuous periods of my professional life. Since I never have, and never will, be someone who leaves his professional endeavors in a tight little nine-to-five box, the state of my professional life directly affects everything else.
I guess that’s why I can’t answer the question, “What can’t you live without?” without making an attempt to determine what makes me different than other people, which may be complete hogwash…but I think it’s also part of the answer.
This was a conversation we’d been having since we’d met, but like all our conversations at the beginning of our relationship this one had never had legs. It hadn’t had time for legs; we were sneaking around and we were pressed for time and we were aggressively trying to get to know one another because our minds were madly in love but our lives and our hearts were still learning the language.