(flirting tactics)

“hi, um, excuse me…hi. what’s your name?”

“um, i’m chalise.”

“hi, chalise…what dorm are you in?”

“i’m in bromley, with a friend from home. how about you?”


“oh i hear that a sweet dorm!”

*awkward silence*

“so chalise, where are you and your roommate from?”

“oh we’re from a suburb of chicago.”

“me too! do you know any soccer players up there? i played soccer…just wondering if we knew the same people.”

“yeah, like all my guy friends played soccer…what’s your name?”

“oh, sorry…i’m D.”

“D what?”

“D S*******.”

“D S*******? D S*******.”


“the soccer player? the really good soccer player who was like all-american? that’s you? like…”THE” D S*******?!”

“yeah! why, have you heard of me? i was the guy at st. charles…we were supposed to win our third championship last year but we blew it. that’s so funny that you’ve heard of me!”

“oh, i’ve definitely heard of you. in fact, you’re my ex-boyfriend and my best friend. and i just put you on a plane to california!”

when chalise called me to tell me this story (like four seconds after it happened) we both almost cried at the irony of it all. his name was really gus…and they were actually kind of buds for a while!

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