For someone ‘pushing thirty’ (as we like to joke, despite it being fact) I have quite a few friends who aren’t married.
That may seem to oversimplify the world of relationships, but everyone should be able to identify with the notion that as you push through your twenties, at some point it seems that either your crowd is quickly marrying off, or the crowd of someone who’s just outside your crowd is quickly marrying off.
If it’s not you, it’s your coworker or the highschool crowd you left behind for your current friends. Maybe it’s your college crowd. Maybe it’s all your train or bus mate talks about.
For me, it’s definitely the once-removed crowd.
I can point out pockets of young married (or engaged) couples quite easily, but when it comes to my core network of tight relationships, both the highschool buddies and the college buddies are predominantly single. Or dating. But not married, yet.
All around me I see the ways relationships are impacting the lives of people I know. People I care about. I see it firsthand and I read about it on your blogs.
I catch it on Facebook and I hear about it from other people.
I see some of you wading through the sea of strangers looking for that special someone.
I see some of you raising your young children and navigating your careers and personal lives with them in mind, setting up a future for them to benefit from.
You’re getting married. You’re moving in together. You’re fighting. You’re insanely in love.
I see the struggle that each step in each relationship demands on every person, every heart, and every family…and the rewards those struggles promise for those who have the strength to move forward.
Trusting one another. Making decisions. Sacrificing. Worshiping. Balancing.
I can’t pretend to know how to do any of it…I’m not just single at this point in my life, but I’m solitary.
I’m undedicated to the pursuit, for reasons that are my own and acceptable to me. For whatever reason I think that makes me an observer.
What I see is that the hardest thing two humans can do is trust one another.
Trust is the magnanimous human connection. It is the foundation of love and friendship and community. It is the glue and its destruction is the demise.
It is strength and it is fragile.
I applaud you all…every one of you out there offering your heart to someone special. Trying to find someone to share with. Dedicating your life to someone else. It is the reason we are here. You are on the frontlines. You are courageous.
And if your doubts sneak up from below to try and take you or your relationships down, don’t forget what it took to get to where you are.