this weekend my youngest sister graduated from college, and i drove down to st. louis and back with my middle sister to attend the ceremonies.

stacey is the youngest memeber of our generation on my mother’s side, which includes some 20 odd cousins, most of whom have managed to turn themselves into doctors and lawyers.

the majority of them live on the east coast, and as such a simple family meeting would suffice to up and decide to turn ourselves into a very powerful east coast irish mafia organization.

that aside, stacey brought up the rear with a stellar university career highlighted by her Magna Cum Laude honors* and degree in International Business and Accounting**.

she’s moving to japan to teach english in two months, which made her one of the few graduating seniors in her class that had an answer to the most-asked question on grad weekend; “what are your plans for the future?”

st. louis is a quaint midwest city full of terrible drivers.

it doesn’t help that the city doesn’t paint half of its major roads, and it also doesn’t help that the people in st. louis are predominantly from missouri.

the actual graduation ceremony, of course, was soul-crushingly boring.

the fact that our nation’s nexus of higher level thinking celebrates its participant’s success by standing around in robes puking cliches about the future is ironic and depressing.

can society’s intellectual elite not think up a better way to honor graduates?

how did the keynote speaker to stacey’s business school graduation end her speech, you might ask?

“be all you can be.”

i mean.


an old army slogan is all you could muster up?

after that two-hour fiasco, the weekend was a whole bunch of great weather, food, and alcohol.

how was everyone else’s weekend?

*my other sis was Summa Cum Laude, and at the ceremony i leaned across her and told my parents, “well…there’s Summa, there’s Magna, and then there’s me.”

**at which point i realized i’m the only sibling in our family with a Bachelor of Arts degree…both my sisters have Bachelor of Science degrees…the evidence of my lack of comparative intelligence is piling up.

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