“I’d love to make new friends, but who does that after they’re 30?”
I got that text from a friend I left behind in Chicago, a person I probably miss more than I even realize sometimes. Giving up the world I had in Chicago was a conscious (and consciously painful) decision I needed to make to give dream chasing a real shot.
Sounds all fuzzy and exciting and what everyone should do but that’s when you don’t analyze the real meat and potatoes of what makes life worth living, which is the people you spend it with.
Sometimes you can’t control the way people enter and leave your life, and sometimes they leave in drastic and painful ways, but when you’re wholly responsible for deciding to uproot yourself you carry around that weight a bit, no matter the reason you did it or what the result was.
I left home to start a company. I’m in a new city (and country, eh?) and the reality is that lifelong friends are simply not something you can go out and pick up easily. Do people make new friends at 30 years old? Sure. Is it quite a lot harder than at 18, 23, 25?
I love what I do every day. I love working on a problem that’s got absolutely no roadmap.
Every single day is a mystery, every accomplishment that much richer because it’s like you’ve birthed it. The conversations you have are almost all based around your little company and ambitions. You learn so much…about yourself and other people and markets and technologies and you look around at the people doing the same thing and you learn from their accomplishments, ideas, and mistakes.
It makes answering the ‘how are things going?‘ question a very difficult one to answer, because until things are decidedly doing so well you’re almost surprised by it all, you’re really just surviving. Things are going well because you get to be inside of your project and the world revolves around your ideas.
Things are also terribly frustrating and scary, because you have no cushion and you have no guarantees and you have no social life and you experience the thrills and rewards of a life you’ve chosen right next to the uncertainties and very real stress of building a company.
People here are amazing, which I think I’ve said, but probably not enough. People like Mac, Maura, Tony, Sonia, Tina, Jodi, Daniel, Noah, Boris and Danny (and on and on, really) have literally shaped my experiences here, and have done so in only the way really open, friendly, giving, supportive people can.
You know how sometimes people have their circles and can’t find room for outsiders? These aren’t those people.
These are people full of life and friendship. People full of ideas and ambition and a drive to welcome people into their circles. People who matter because they care about other people.
My kind of people.
So, things are good. And tough. And exciting and invigorating and alive. The heart is still beating and every day’s a new day.
How about you?