(marin county)

on wednesday i walked across town to a slick urban highrise for the farmstead wine tasting. my buddy anthony has the kind of mind i dig hanging out with…there’s always a new idea and it’s never a small one. his wine importing company is just one of those ideas, and just one of his many start-ups.

a small gathering in the party room on the ninth floor, i ended up buying six bottles from him for january delivery, and a few of us decided to head out for some mexican food in pilsen afterwards.

dinner lead to a green mill excursion, which always seems like it’s lightyears away, until i get there and realize it’s always worth the trip.

sexy jazz and a finger of laphroaig and i’m one happy young man.

anyway one of anthony’s friend was a girl who was actually our host…it was her building.

and she was the first person i’ve ever met that reminded me of a girl i dated in college that we’re gonna call “cw”.

man…that’s a girl i haven’t thought about much since i left california.

cw was exactly the kind of girl i’d write off the second i met her. her look was very made up…expensive clothes almost exclusively black and starkly in contrast to her long golden blond hair that fell to the small of her back. she was petite and perfecty, and she was always ‘made up’.

she was graduating at the end of the year and she was at the tail end of a relationship that didn’t show many signs of health, and after years of walking right by one another one day our heads turned and there was a person there.

a person who’s intellect was staggering and introspective and inquisitive and everything you find when you ignore the bookcover and hit the jackpot.

and that’s where our relationship found its feet.

our conversations were intellectually orgasmic and i became fascinated by our differences. aside from a shared love for music and art and talking and thinking and adventures, which i certainly propose is most of the good shit, we were very different.

she was concerned with how she looked to an extent that i questioned, and i dug how well she could defend her sentiment. our conversations were always deep ones, and i think our minds were in love despite the ways in which our worlds didn’t match up.

she was close to getting real world, and i was still very entrenched in college. she eventually moved home after graduating, and when we’d finally become a bit of an item i was finding myself in marin county an hour north of campus regularly and at times for days at a time.

our time was spent looking at beautiful things and eating great food and that time in my life was as amazing as a six month vacation in northern california sounds like it might be. she showed me her world, and i ate it up. we’d drive to tahoe on a whim. we’d sit in her car at the edge of tiburon’s highest point overlooking the bay and san francico sat in all its glory across the water while we got stoned and listened to music.

we were always running a race against time, and it was always gaining on us. she was emotionally victim to her ex-boyfriend and i was probably a little too carefree. our future was completely uncertain with my possible return to chicago.

it was a relationship i’ll never forget and it is one i rarely remember.

it wasn’t even an established relationship…it was more like a long tryst that ignored all the missing stuff in the interest of focusing on the fact that we found one another so much goddamn fun to be around. so interesting. and maybe such a great distraction from everything else at a time when we both needed that.

our time together was intense and it was, at times, tumultuous, and for lack of solid ground it ended rather unceremoniously. the kind of girl to cut out the painful piece of her heart to leave it in her past, my return to chicago roughly marks the severance of our communication.

cold turkey and all, i suppose, and certainly one way to do it. for someone who you already know keeps in touch with most of his ex-girlfriends, she is unique in this.

which i suppose is what that time and that girl and that world was for me; unique.

i miss the whole thing in certain ways, because it felt new and unusual and it vibrated all the time and it made me feel smart that i’d discovered the girl inside that little girl.

hm.

memories, right?

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