i spoke with my buddy deuceman (other aliases: 2, kooter, koitzy, donkeyballs, bunners, red bunz bunnery) all the way to work this morning, because today is his 28th birthday.
the man’s simply a legend, and as i think i’ve mentioned before, i spent the first few days after i’d met him, a decade ago and the first day i set foot on stanford’s campus, sort of grossed out by him.
he creeped me out.
he was greasy.
he was smallish.
i couldn’t figure out if he was an upperclassman or a rookie, and i was a bit disshevled at the prospect of sharing my rookie year with such an oddball teammate.
on the first night of preseason, as i silently wondered what life in california would entail, our upperclassman demanded that the six freshman put on their sunday best and Meet The Team in the reading room of the dorm we were lodged in.
we stood at the room’s entrance, next to the women’s freshman, drinking vodka and sprite, peeking into a big room with big, scary college soccer players lining the walls, ready to interogate us one by one.
i wore a tie, button down, and jacket.
koitz looked like this, roughly:
as i’m sure you’ve surmised, it didn’t take long for me to realize i’d totally underestimated this 5 foot 4 ball of energy, style, and a self-confidence, so a month or so later when preseason ended and we’d been integrated with our fellow classmates and he decided his assigned roommates just weren’t worth his time, i was happy to have him simply move in with me and my two roommates.
he spent his entire freshman year living out of a bag filled with nike dri-fit clothes and sleeping in whatever bed, futon, or closet wasn’t occupied (or was occupied, but had room…there’s always room for a koitz).
it sounds odd, but only if you haven’t met the dueceman.
what began there turned into one of the most unique and rewarding friendships i’ll ever have, and i have a lot of deep, spectacularly rewarding friendships.
kooter, though, makes the world vibrate.
our friendship has always been an adventure…in practice, in emotion, and with vigor.
i heap passion into describing the relationship i have with chalise now, as the two of us find ourselves within walking distance of one another. but the open emotional ties and spontaneous exploration of life i’m able to share with her now was practiced and perfected with the grey goose pounding, fitness freak you see pictured here.
we’d be in class before breakfast and in LA by dinner. we’d run off to san francisco to have one drink at the W hotel in between set-up and the kick-off of our annual fraternity toga party, just because people at the W are beautiful.
we streaked graduation together.
one of the most entertaining pieces of video i’ve ever filmed was koitz dancing shirtless with (or sexually molesting) a refrigerator.
and if i ever find that again, you’ll undoubtedly see it.
but in the end, among the truly gifted and seriously cool people i got to know in college, this man stands out as a giant among elves…an integral piece of quirky fabric in a funky quilt of truly killer individuals.
koitz, i’m sorry i underestimated you.
and i’m honored to be one of your inner circle.
happy birthday, bunners.
remember me when the world catches on to you, and your inevitable rise to fame begins.