(secrets and sleep)


i have two little sisters.

they’re both amazing, which you know. one is in japan and one is here in chicago and the one here is studying neuroscience at the university of chicago.

1:04 PM me: find someone for tonight?
N: yeah, dad’s trip got canceled
but we’re not going anyway because I haven’t slept in 3 days
so he gave the tickets away yesterday
1:05 PM me: ah. you alright? how’d the presentation go last week?
1:06 PM N: yeah, whatever. the presentation actually got pushed back to Jan 21. I had to turn in the proposal document still last friday though, and just got it in at 11:30PM fri night. it was a rough week leading up to that
S—- had some unexpected complications with her pregnancy. she’s fine, but was hospitalized last week
so we couldn’t meet friday.
1:07 PM me: oh man
so are you still in the thick of it?
1:08 PM N: yeah, kind of. well sleeping’s not helping.1:09 PM it’s a lot of work, but not enough to keep me up all these nights, i just can’t fucking sleep. just having another spell I guess. first one in a while.
1:10 PM makes sense though, they’re kicked off by stress — and I got off schedule last week because I had to work through the night wed and thurs to get it in on fri
1:18 PM me: i figured the cramming would be the culprit…i’m so sorry dude.
1:21 PM N: it’s okay! thanks. the total sleeplessness will break soon — tonight hopefully! and then I’ll battle with getting at least some sleep every single night for a while. but it’ll ease off. as soon as i get SOME sleep the worst will be over for now
1:22 PM me: ugh. not fun.
1:23 PM N: nope. so did you talk to mom about dad’s surprise
(or lack there of?)
me: ha yeah. i sensed it wasn’t gonna work
N: i found out from Stacey last weekend
1:24 PM and then waited and waited for mom to tell me
but she didn’t, so I had to ask her
me: haha. when did she tel him?
N: and she was like, oh, you know?
they were trying to keep it from you and I so we didn’t think the surprise was ruined
SO weird
she told him like 2 weeks ago
me: SO WEIRD
1:25 PM i mean that’s retarded.
N: i KNOW
me: i didn’t even know that!
mom is so weird.
N: I tried to laugh and I was just like, uh that’s SO weird mom
I know!
Like, she must have told dad not to tell us because I must have talked to him 10 times since he knew
me: so was all the crap about the meeting back and forth true or a cover up or what?
1:26 PM N: like when she was in ohio last weekend I talked to him both sat and sunday
no, that was true, and that was why
she had to tell him
I guess
because he was going to go
and now he’s not
me: ah okay, so she decided to tell him but thought what, that we’d cry about it???
oh my god that’s just so weird.
1:27 PM N: yeah! or something! I seriously waited almost a week after Stace told me and I had talked to them both so many times. I felt so strange about it but finally asked.
1:28 PM They thought that Stacey being in Japan meant we don’t talk to her?
Like they would never tell her something here that they were trying to keep from us.
me: haha. sometimes i wonder what the world looks like from their perspective
1:29 PM N: totally. kind of funny, but really, just odd
1:30 PM me: hilarious and totally odd.

but for reals, insomnia is such a bastard.

there’s nothing you can do for someone you love going through it, and it’s like this monster that never goes away forever.

if it was a drug addiction, at least i’d know how to help!

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