N: have you talked to our little sister today?
me: left a birthday message, wrote about her on my blog, facebook, etc…so NO.
N: yeah, me neither. But the mice that I engineered (that I’ve been trying to get to breed for 8+ months now) decided on today for a birthday!
me: no way!! on our sister’s birthday!
me: “the mice that i engineered” is what normal people say all the time
me: stacey shares a bday with your engineered mice…it’s so fitting!
me: did you name one after her?
N: yeah. ha, I know.
N: well, genetically engineered. but they’ve just been duds for almost a year, as my thesis waited on them, and as I went ahead with trying to produce new mice — and then out of nowhere (well, not NOwhere, I’ve tried lots of black magic) one gives birth and the other is pregnant!
me: wow! you must have played the right love songs in the lab.
N: Right now there’s five pups (which is a small litter actually) but they all get to be named “Stacey” until I can tell them apart.
N: They’re like the size of your pinky fingernail right now.
me: FIVE STACEY’S!
me: wow. do you have a camera? cuz i really want to see a pic.
me: btw, can you imagine five stacey’s? you’d never get a word in.
N: I know! They’d all be like, “whatev!”
me: like, “i luuuuuuuuv college!”
N: I tried to get her to stop saying that last time we hung out. She’s stuck on it. “Whatev!”
me: i know. she’s adorable though. also, have you ever noticed how photogenic she is? our sister, not the mice.
N: um. yes.
N: it’s crazy!
me: i was looking through her photos and can’t believe it…even hammered, she owns the camera.
N: I know, she’s insane in pictures
me: um…no one IN OUR ENTIRE EXTENDED FAMILY is REMOTELY photogenic.
me: mom and the milkman, apparently.
me: so the mice thing is good for the thesis, yes?
N: it’s so good. it’s like really REALLY necessary…
N: or Plan B starts looking The Plan…which always sucks.
me: right. well that’s great, congratulations.
N: thanks. Maybe it was the Barry White I played. Otherwise, I didn’t do much but wait.
me: sounds just like our sister’s conception.
me: just threw up a little.