The One About My Very Best Girlfriend

That was the thing; even when we were teenagers she was different. She was edgy and confident and averse to anything but her will. She is probably the reason I have ever felt the confidence to just trust my gut in the face of the most insane things it suggested. Over and over and over again I’ve heard people say things like “everyone wishes they were Chalise” when what they meant was “everyone wishes they had an intimate relationship with ignoring their inhibition and plunging into life to see what actually happens”.

I’m not sure if I mentioned that Chalise is getting married.

I wrote this a while back while I was living in Wicker Park and I was running the neighborhood with Chalise (hat tip to Tankboy, who’s kind of the area’s OG).

Chalise is the most wonderful woman I know that I don’t technically share blood with.  The person who’s heart beats at the very same pace as mine.  The girl who set the bar for love in my life, because true love is mostly about friendship.

I watched her life of love firsthand.  I knew most of the men involved, and I saw her ride the roller coaster we all ride as we navigate the labrynth of our heart’s quest for a twin.  I saw the ups and downs.

In every way I always gave Chalise the room she needed to figure out who she wanted to be.  Our friendship was sort of about that…in college years would pass and we’d pick up like it was yesterday.

That was the thing; even when we were teenagers she was different.  She was edgy and confident and averse to anything but her will.  She is probably the reason I have ever felt the confidence to just trust my gut in the face of the most insane things it suggested.  Over and over and over again I’ve heard people say things like “everyone wishes they were Chalise” when what they meant was “everyone wishes they had an intimate relationship with ignoring their inhibition and plunging into life to see what actually happens”.

That kind of life is one wrought with uncertainty and challenges, and especially when it comes to falling in love with someone.  Men had the hardest time trusting their connection to her.  They wanted evidence of it, often, and as such found themselves devoid of the confidence that caught her eye in the first place.

Ironically, I saw men doubting her.  One of the most loyal and genuine people I have ever known in my life.

That may sound as if my best friend made boys of men, but those men took from her the one thing she needed; someone who could let her truly explore the world and her place in it.

Yeah, some decent guys lost a girl they thought they loved.  They probably did love, actually.

But I saw her as a victim too.

She loved hard and fast and she brings more passion to a conversation about nothing than world leaders bring to battle.  Hers was never a mission of exploitation, and she tried harder and harder to reason with the way relationships turned into less than they should have been.  She wanted them to work and she tried and tried and tried.

Until the day her sister got married, and she found him.

I think the day I met him, I knew it was over.

The girl is now everything she was meant to be.  Fully confident to be herself and stupidly in love with someone who knows it.

In love with someone who does his life too.  Someon who walks outside every day and does it his way.

This weekend is the joint bachelor/bachelorette party that Chalise and Ghasson are throwing in the mountains near Denver, Colorado, and if there was one place on Earth I could put myself right now, that’s where it would be.

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