i asked another blogger what i should write about and she said i should share my thoughts on why i haven’t met The One yet.
which is, ya know, an interesting little thought-experiment.
one might suggest that i’m the only single guy in my regular crew of gentlemen (i.e. the band) because i’m the most unworthy of love, or the ugliest of the bunch. i wouldn’t argue with those sentiments or any other unflattering conclusions you might draw as to my facebook status, but that’s simply because i’m not really one to argue.
i’d suggest that it’s a combination of a few things and that a lot of those things are my own doing…this certainly isn’t a ‘cupid hates me because i slept with his sister‘ post.
one thing i learned in looking back on my last relationship was that the front end of our demise was heavily due to my handling of a new career and intellectual pursuit. my focus on succeeding as i jumped into an industry in which i had no experience directly affected my emotional availability to someone who needed me available.
my career course since that relationship has been a period of similar intensity, and my awareness of my tendency to short a woman in the face of those circumstances has certainly affected my “attention to love“, so to speak…
i haven’t sought it out.
i guess you could say i’ve been hesitant to give a woman anything but my all, having seen a relationship i consider to have been forthright, real, and substantial result in a lot of heart-pain when starved of two equal parts.
the bar has been raised, of course, and i’ve considered myself “un-datable” for some time.
sometimes i think i’ve met The One, but that’s partly because i’m so in love with my female friends (sorry fellas) and their mark on my life. were i to have a rigid definition of The One i’m sure it would rule out someone i know well and haven’t decided to spend my life with, but in the way that these women embody the things i adore about women, The One (as a concept) feels familiar.
which brings me to a more specific answer to the question, which is “why haven’t you met The One, d?“:
i wasn’t ready.
am i ready today? well, i’m far closer than i ever have been. i’m comfortable with the idea of a forever with someone and the decision to share and compromise with a lover and best friend.
i’m excited about her.
and i’m in no rush to track her down.
because i trust that she’ll pop outta nowhere…